Its been awhile..
Its been so long since I last logged in to this blog, that I've almost forgotten what my password was.
seriously.
Not to say that I no longer have things to say. I do still feel the urge to blog about certain things from time to time, but when the time comes and I finally sit down in front of the computer, I've lost the impetus to start typing about anything anymore. Until today.
I've suddenly realised I've hit the wall. No of course not literally. What I mean is I feel like I've become so settled in my daily routine that I seem to have lost the drive and urge to try something new. Something is lacking, and the problem is I don't know what it is.
Work is alright. And by alright I mean manageable. I'm thankful for having lesser commitments this year (and hence less stress) but besides that nothing has changed. For all the shit that I did for last year, I do still feel like I'm not being ranked for what I deserve. In a certain sense I've lost faith in the ranking process, not just for myself, but for my guys too. people are no longer ranked according to how much they've done, but rather how much 'exposure' they have (ie how much the higher-ups know you).
I recently attended a course on core values. And although I do admit that initially it seemed to me like a course to 'brainwash' us again, I was glad to be quickly proven wrong. The course serve as a timely reminder, at least for myself. I was deeply moved by the facilitator, not because he was a great presenter, but rather because of his sincerity. This was a man who has served in the military all his life, and who truly believes in upholding the core values. It was he who reminded me of why we needed the SAF, back in the days where peace cannot be taken for granted. It was he who reminded me that we are in the military, a profession that requires us to kill if we have to. Many who join the military in recent years forget that it is not just a 'job' or a 'career'. People seldom look past the monetary incentives (salary, bonuses) when they sign on, and these people who signed on for superficial gains would, ultimately, leave the organization. Simply because they see it as 'just another job'.
Outside of work, life is also pretty much the same. I still play bball almost every sunday with WL. Bball has played a great part in my life, and although our bball kakis have dwindled down to ust the 2 of us, I'm just glad to be still able to play every week.
Netball wise, the team manager is trying to hold the team together. Truth is there seems to be no loyalty to the team. A few better players who were initially playing for us have 'jumped ship' to a better rival team, players not turning up for training or even matches. Its disheartening, and I salute the team manager for trying to keep things going despite all these. For me, I still see it as an opportunity to exercise and learn a new sport, or perhaps its just the thrill of the adrenaline rush when we play competitively.
I've stopped dancing for almost a year now, and I'm hoping to pick it up again. yet at the same time I'm torn between my interest in dance and my other commitments. More likely than not, it seems like I'll have to sacrifice dance for now.
yup just a quick sum up of whats been happening. signing off =)
seriously.
Not to say that I no longer have things to say. I do still feel the urge to blog about certain things from time to time, but when the time comes and I finally sit down in front of the computer, I've lost the impetus to start typing about anything anymore. Until today.
I've suddenly realised I've hit the wall. No of course not literally. What I mean is I feel like I've become so settled in my daily routine that I seem to have lost the drive and urge to try something new. Something is lacking, and the problem is I don't know what it is.
Work is alright. And by alright I mean manageable. I'm thankful for having lesser commitments this year (and hence less stress) but besides that nothing has changed. For all the shit that I did for last year, I do still feel like I'm not being ranked for what I deserve. In a certain sense I've lost faith in the ranking process, not just for myself, but for my guys too. people are no longer ranked according to how much they've done, but rather how much 'exposure' they have (ie how much the higher-ups know you).
I recently attended a course on core values. And although I do admit that initially it seemed to me like a course to 'brainwash' us again, I was glad to be quickly proven wrong. The course serve as a timely reminder, at least for myself. I was deeply moved by the facilitator, not because he was a great presenter, but rather because of his sincerity. This was a man who has served in the military all his life, and who truly believes in upholding the core values. It was he who reminded me of why we needed the SAF, back in the days where peace cannot be taken for granted. It was he who reminded me that we are in the military, a profession that requires us to kill if we have to. Many who join the military in recent years forget that it is not just a 'job' or a 'career'. People seldom look past the monetary incentives (salary, bonuses) when they sign on, and these people who signed on for superficial gains would, ultimately, leave the organization. Simply because they see it as 'just another job'.
Outside of work, life is also pretty much the same. I still play bball almost every sunday with WL. Bball has played a great part in my life, and although our bball kakis have dwindled down to ust the 2 of us, I'm just glad to be still able to play every week.
Netball wise, the team manager is trying to hold the team together. Truth is there seems to be no loyalty to the team. A few better players who were initially playing for us have 'jumped ship' to a better rival team, players not turning up for training or even matches. Its disheartening, and I salute the team manager for trying to keep things going despite all these. For me, I still see it as an opportunity to exercise and learn a new sport, or perhaps its just the thrill of the adrenaline rush when we play competitively.
I've stopped dancing for almost a year now, and I'm hoping to pick it up again. yet at the same time I'm torn between my interest in dance and my other commitments. More likely than not, it seems like I'll have to sacrifice dance for now.
yup just a quick sum up of whats been happening. signing off =)
posted by xiong at
12:01 PM
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