Money Matters

Yes. Money matters.

Coming from a middle-low income family. I've always known the importance of having money.

I do recognise that there are other people around who came from a worse background, and that I should be considered lucky that my family, though poor, never had a debt problem. Although my dad has never managed to afford anything more than a goods vehicle, there are people who don't even have a car. I know.

Sure, there were times where cashflow was tight. Especially when CNY is around the corner. Or when the economy is not doing well and my dad's income took a plunge. But we always managed to make it through, even though there were always bouts of quarrels and tension between my parents during those times. We still had enough to buy new clothes and for ang pows. We were not rich, but we got by.

My dad toiled for his entire adult life trying to make ends meet. Being self-employed, he didn't have CPF contributions, but life was ok. Things however went downhill when he decided to leave the company that he helped to set up, due to disagreements with his other 2 partners. Being the awesome good guy full of pride and integrity (and of cos totally hopeless as a businessman), he left the company taking only his contacts and a van, while his other 2 bastard partners happily inherited the company.

I know it now that it was from then that the boat started to rock. My dad's income is no longer a certainty, as how much he earned depended on how many jobs he managed to land. In other words, it depended on luck. And being the hopeless businessman he is, his profits were always marginal.

I knew as far back as when I was in JC that there's no way in hell my family was gonna fund for my university studies. And it's one of the reasons I chose to sign on.

Fast forward to now. I have a stable job with decent pay. But are things better? Sure, i get to have a meal at restaurants every now and then, and even go on overseas trips twice a year on average. These are luxuries my parents never had, and I am thankful for what I have. But I know there are bigger problems looming ahead.

 Both my parents have no savings. My mum's not working. My dad's income from his company is negligible. And they're both hitting 60 next year. My brother has his own family to care for, so I doubt there's much he can do to help alleviate the situation.

As for me, I've a wedding to prepare to pay for next year (which will probably wipe out a huge huge portion of my savings). Sigh.

I'm really tired. Tired of always having to think twice (or thrice) before spending money on myself. Tired of having to force myself to take bus/train so I can save on cab fares. Tired of always having to think "this is too expensive". Tired of hearing my parents quarrel over financial issues. Tired of always having to work within a budget. Tired of always having to check how much money I have left in my bank account.

I'm so, so tired.

If I cant do anything else right. then at least I will NOT let my children stress about my finances. I WILL be financially free, by any way and means I can.

Its a promise I make to myself.