Letter
I dunno what exactly triggered me to blog this.. perhaps it was e conversation with dad on the way home today? in any case I've been wanting to speak to you about these thoughts for quite some time le just couldn't really bring it up to you face to face. so here's hoping that you'll chance across this entry, brother =)
I remembered after my O levels there was once you spoke to me, asking me whether i wanted to go JC or Poly to continue my education, and I chose JC because i had wanted to go to uni and do engineering, and JC was the faster path. u asked a question then that threw me off balance.
'why engineering?'
I wanted so much to say tt it was my interest, that engineering was what i wanted to do all along.. but then again i knew tt was a lie. I chose engineering because i happen to do well in engineering-related subjects such as physics and math. because I guessed that an engineering degree would probably guarantee me a stable job and a decent pay after i graduate. towards the later part of my life i justified that it was because of my career with the airforce as an engineer, which required me to pursue an engineering degree.truth is, i never really liked engineering, i just happened to do well in it.
U told me then. of your dreams and aspirations. of how you could never tolerate a 9-5 job doing the same thing over and over everyday. of how you wanna venture out and really do something you like. I was so envious of you. that you could have such ambitions despite the fact that we are in a country that thrives on elitism. where a uni degree is almost a must-have to apply for a job with decent pay. I was so envious that you were not affected by all these intangible red tapes. deep down, i actually wished that you could prove me wrong, that one does not need such qualifications to survive in the real world. I believed with the drive you have, eventually you will succeed in your own way =)
years flew past. and what happened? you kept claiming that you are still young, that there are still opportunities outside, that you still wish to venture.
Hello? knock knock? wake up already. Young? you are turning 30 in 8 months' time, and you are still drawing a salary of a fresh poly graduate. young?? you are married with a wife and soon a kid to feed. our parents are gonna be 60 in another couple of years. Mum's not working, Dad's business is going downhill and even if its not, how long do you want him to continue working? Both of them have no CPF and sis-in-law's chances of getting her PR status is getting slimmer by the day. HELLO?? Am I the only one who is worried about these issues?
you said you hate having to work in an office environment. you think the working world is full of hypocrites. you think your bosses are incompetent fools and are not understanding. you find your job boring with no satisfaction whatsoever. you think you work your ass off and is only paid peanuts. well guess wat? Everyone feels the same way too!
welcome to the real world bro. to quote your advice when i broke up with my ex, 'time to wake up and smell the shit'. stop complaining and DO SOMETHING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER!
you think your pay is shit? then go upgrade yourself and make yourself deserve better. dun keep complaining that you have no money to study (or the fact that you dun like studying). low pay = no money = cannot afford to upgrade = low pay. its a neverending cycle dude. do something to jump out of it. save up, take up another job, anything besides complaining. you think i'm doing my dream job now? you think there aren't times where i feel overworked and underpaid? you think my bosses are perfectly accomodating people?
Before you can speak of your dreams and aspirations, you need to bow down to the cold hard reality and feed the stomach first. its as simple as that.
hearing from dad that you are actually considering to venture cross the border just pisses me off. really. have you spared a thought for mum and dad before you considered that option? stop thinking about urself alr. you have a problem? solve it. don't just run away from it cos its more convenient. that was not the brother i knew from so long ago.
I remembered after my O levels there was once you spoke to me, asking me whether i wanted to go JC or Poly to continue my education, and I chose JC because i had wanted to go to uni and do engineering, and JC was the faster path. u asked a question then that threw me off balance.
'why engineering?'
I wanted so much to say tt it was my interest, that engineering was what i wanted to do all along.. but then again i knew tt was a lie. I chose engineering because i happen to do well in engineering-related subjects such as physics and math. because I guessed that an engineering degree would probably guarantee me a stable job and a decent pay after i graduate. towards the later part of my life i justified that it was because of my career with the airforce as an engineer, which required me to pursue an engineering degree.truth is, i never really liked engineering, i just happened to do well in it.
U told me then. of your dreams and aspirations. of how you could never tolerate a 9-5 job doing the same thing over and over everyday. of how you wanna venture out and really do something you like. I was so envious of you. that you could have such ambitions despite the fact that we are in a country that thrives on elitism. where a uni degree is almost a must-have to apply for a job with decent pay. I was so envious that you were not affected by all these intangible red tapes. deep down, i actually wished that you could prove me wrong, that one does not need such qualifications to survive in the real world. I believed with the drive you have, eventually you will succeed in your own way =)
years flew past. and what happened? you kept claiming that you are still young, that there are still opportunities outside, that you still wish to venture.
Hello? knock knock? wake up already. Young? you are turning 30 in 8 months' time, and you are still drawing a salary of a fresh poly graduate. young?? you are married with a wife and soon a kid to feed. our parents are gonna be 60 in another couple of years. Mum's not working, Dad's business is going downhill and even if its not, how long do you want him to continue working? Both of them have no CPF and sis-in-law's chances of getting her PR status is getting slimmer by the day. HELLO?? Am I the only one who is worried about these issues?
you said you hate having to work in an office environment. you think the working world is full of hypocrites. you think your bosses are incompetent fools and are not understanding. you find your job boring with no satisfaction whatsoever. you think you work your ass off and is only paid peanuts. well guess wat? Everyone feels the same way too!
welcome to the real world bro. to quote your advice when i broke up with my ex, 'time to wake up and smell the shit'. stop complaining and DO SOMETHING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER!
you think your pay is shit? then go upgrade yourself and make yourself deserve better. dun keep complaining that you have no money to study (or the fact that you dun like studying). low pay = no money = cannot afford to upgrade = low pay. its a neverending cycle dude. do something to jump out of it. save up, take up another job, anything besides complaining. you think i'm doing my dream job now? you think there aren't times where i feel overworked and underpaid? you think my bosses are perfectly accomodating people?
Before you can speak of your dreams and aspirations, you need to bow down to the cold hard reality and feed the stomach first. its as simple as that.
hearing from dad that you are actually considering to venture cross the border just pisses me off. really. have you spared a thought for mum and dad before you considered that option? stop thinking about urself alr. you have a problem? solve it. don't just run away from it cos its more convenient. that was not the brother i knew from so long ago.
posted by xiong at
7:26 PM
1 Comments:
By a stroke of divine luck, I manage to come across this entry. Thank you for the heartfelt sharing. Though I may not agree with everything you said, I'm happy nonetheless that you have my interests at heart. I would be happier if we can share it face to face, but I guess as we grew up, our mode of communication just got warped in a certain way. Still, I shouldn't be looking at the horse in the mouth.
Going back to the situation at hand, why do you think I am still sticking to my "lousy" job? If I'm really as thoughtless and hopelessly idealistic as I once was, I would have quit long ago on a spur of moment. I've changed. I've learnt to become more mercenary, more realistic. No doubt I still wish to pursue my dreams, I realise there are certain things in life that's unattainable, no matter how hard I try. Still, I will do what I can.
Going across the border is but one of the options. Compared to living a beggar's life here, I might as well try my fortune elsewhere. As you said, Singapore is an elitist society. For people like myself, venturing overseas may have more of a chance of success. You are pissed, at what? Because I'm neglecting my parents? Because I chose not to stay in Singapore? I'm sorry, but I do have to think of my own survival. Unfortunately, academic excellence never held much of an interest to me. So I guess I have to find another avenue then.
Like I said before, your path in life is different from mine. Perhaps mine is fraught with adversities and loops, but if I keep on believing and don't give up, I may be able to get somewhere. Yes, the magic word is may, because nothing in life is certain. I'm taking my chances as they come.
As for further studies, I'm exploring various options on how I can get grants. But the main priority is still to provide for my wife, my unborn child, and my folks. I don't seek your approval, but I hope you can try to understand before making such remarks. Were you intend to embark on any ventures, I would support you wholeheartedly. I don't need another cynical voice, just one of encouragement.
Ultimately, I still hope to prove that people like me can still excel in life without that proper piece of paper. There was a point of time where I would be very concerned with how people see me. But I guess reality has turned a portion of my heart into stone. Think what you may of me, for everyone is entitled to their opinions.
Last but not least, I sincerely wish you the very best in all your endeavours. May your life be a smooth and straightforward one. =)
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