Angst

This is gonna be an angsty post, as the title suggests..

probably in the near future as i look back on this I'll be smiling/laughing at myself, wondering why I was so pissed stressed, but for now I just need to ventilate, so here goes:


"Dear Dy Chairman,

Fuck you.

Yeah, seriously. Fuck you.

I really wonder how you managed to survive for so long in office without having to do anything. Oh wait, maybe that is exactly why you survived for so long.

you maintain that you should be 'overseeing' everything, which basically means you don't get your hands dirty in DOING anything. But can you please at least KNOW what's going on and not waste everyone's time?

Why e hell would we need a Organising chairman who's already OVERSEEING everything, and then another Dy Chairman who also sits back and oversee things again? Oh, I know! cos you can conveniently push all the shit jobs to some poor soul known as the SECRETARY, which happens to be me. just my luck eh?

Liase with conveners? Secretary.
Liase with SAFSA and SAA? Secretary.
Liase with Police and Prisions? Secretary.
Do Publicity posters? Secretary.
Write Admin Instructions? Secretary.
Plan Commications net? Secretary.
Come up with Events list? Secretary.
Come up with Manpower requirements? Secretary.
Master Cue table? Secretary.
Anything else that does not seem to belong to anybody? Secretary.

yeah. nevermind that I'm just one person. Anyway your job is just to throw out all kinds of instructions and expect ppl to follow-up so that if things go well you can claim the glory and say 'yea I told them to do tt' and if things go awry you can say 'I told them before they need to do tt'. Smart! and what do you need to do? you attend posh dinners at hotels with SAA and their sponsors, and you have the fucking cheek to ask me to register your name for the dinner. Oh and I almost forgot despite going for the dinner and supposedly building relationships with the sponsors for our event, you have conveniently tai-ji-ed the responsibility of sponsorship to someone else!

Why am I working my ass of and stressing myself so hard for? At the end of the day if everything goes well, the most I get is a 'thank you'. I don't get a big fat cheque to cash into my bank account, nor do I get a promotion. Its just another sai-kang that needs to be done and guess wat? since I had the dubious honor of experiencing it this year, i should make use of my experience and do it again next year!!

Fuck you.

I take this entry as an opportunity to promise myself. That I will endure for this time round. but when it comes to annual feedback in April, I'm gonna request to see CO for an interview. I'm gonna tell him to either change off the DyChairman, or take me out as the secretary.

I've had enough."

2010

Looking back, I really have to say that time really flies once we become 'working adults'.

So fast that it didn't even feel like 2010 had ended just like tt, or perhaps the fact is I've been too busy to notice the passage of time. So as I'm writing this I'm trying my very best to recall what's been happening for the past year.

I remembered starting the year off with a week's trip to taiwan with my secondary school buddies. Was a really enjoyable trip and was glad all of us got to know each other better in the process! and although i've already been to taiwan twice now, I can't seem to get enough of it. Feels like going on another trip to taiwan this year =)

Chinese New Year came on Valentine's Day so I managed to somehow escape the feeling of emptiness of having to stay at home during V day.

That was followed by my brother's wedding in April. Wasn't really involved in the wedding preparations actually (except for being the co-emcee). Had the dubious honor of being a 'brother' for the first time haha..

In May there's the trip to Bali with another group of my secondary school frens. was a nice experience overall but still think that Bali has been overly commercialised and has lost its rustic charm. Sad to say it hasn't lost any of its tourists though. Also went to KL with my family cos my brother need to hold a wedding dinner there as well. enjoyed the 2 short getaways =)

In October my baby nephew came into the world. With a new cute and cuddly addition to the family I had hoped that he would ease the omni-present tension that always seem to surround my parents. Budden again with every solution comes another problem, and now my nephew has become the spark that ignites their arguments.

Work has not been good. In fact, I came to realise that the only enjoyable part about work nowadays is where i can be away from my office attending courses. Kana super many big big arrows the past year. Live firing exercise, writing article for magazine, march in SAF Day parade, being secretary for a committee headed by useless chairmen, and not forgetting my netball commitments.

I also realise that I'm no longer looking forward to go to work. Just early last year I was still tellign my friends that I enjoy my work. But now, I really have got no motivation whatsoever. Is it because I've lost interest in my work? I think not. Its probably due to the fact that I've got tonnes of shit being shoved onto me, and yet I'm being denied of reward trips after I clear up the mess. great.

alright enough of random babblings. shall dedicate a post to bitch about work soon, when I can find time and energy to do so.